So here’s something I don’t love admitting.
I am way worse at reading myself than I thought I was.
I keep thinking I’m being guided by something smart and subtle, when a lot of the time I’m really just being guided by excitement, hope, and me wanting things to work out.
Which is… not the same thing.
What’s annoying is that I don’t do it loudly. I do it quietly. I do it politely. I do it in this calm little internal voice that sounds very reasonable. I start assuming things are going to go a certain way and then I slowly move into that version of reality like it’s already real.
Then when it doesn’t happen, I act shocked. Or disappointed. Or betrayed. Like something was taken away from me that I never actually had.
That one stung when I caught it.
This same week, I randomly picked discernment as my word for the Franklin Makeover. Not intuition. Discernment. And I didn’t have a big noble reason for it. It just felt like the right word.
Which is funny now, because what I’ve really been doing lately is believing the wrong version of myself.
I’ve been trusting the part of me that talks fast, gets excited, fills in blanks, and starts negotiating with reality. I’ve been calling that intuition.
Chapter 17 basically says that real guidance shows up when your mind is quiet and not emotionally all over the place.
Which is inconvenient information for someone who is emotionally all over the place a lot.
What I’m starting to see is that whatever real intuition is, it doesn’t feel exciting. It doesn’t feel dramatic. It doesn’t feel like a breakthrough coming.
It feels flat. It feels boring. It feels like, “Yeah… not that. Not yet. Slow down.”
Which I usually ignore because it’s not nearly as fun.
So maybe discernment, for me, is just the ability to notice when my brain is lying to me in a friendly voice.
And maybe Chapter 17 isn’t about learning how to hear some higher guidance at all.
Maybe it’s about finally shutting up long enough to stop confusing my own bullshit with wisdom.
I don’t love that conclusion.
But it does explain a lot.
Wow, Todd. This level of honest reflection is a gift. That “calm little internal voice” that’s so convincing—you described it perfectly. Thank you. 🙌
What a great awareness and discernment you’ve shared here, Todd. Yes, it’s so easy to fall for this exciting and loud voice instead of slowing down and quieting enough to hear “still small voice”, right? Hence this inner journey of solitude and silence is the key to finding our authentic self which you are in and moving further and further deeper within. Enjoy!
Wow Todd, total honesty with yourself.
The fact that you noticed the “friendly voice” at all means your awareness is sharpening. Your real guidance tends to feel calm, grounded, and patient… and it waits for you to catch up, which you are!!
You’re learning your inner truth.
The days of mind/head over heart are taking a back seat. Moving into the heart-awakening lifestyle can be as much fun! 💙
Connect your heart and you will find you