MKE Week 3 – Growth Mindset
My daughter comes in the room: “Does my hair look good like this?” She is 14 years old and a beautiful young woman. She does not always feel that way, but she is getting better.
Negative thoughts like “not popular” at school, or “least feminine,” she is very self-conscious as many of her Freshman peers. She works hard for her grades.
I emphasize Positive Mental Attitude. She often rolls her eyes and smiles. She applies herself and wants to do the very best she can. She is open to my often direct (but constructive) criticism. She is growing. Her pigtail hairstyle does look good. I am her biggest fan.
My 17 year old son just made an appointment with his pediatrician. He wants to know if he has autism. For a very long time, he just thought he was different. He had a hard time fitting socially. Kids were so mean. One told him to go kill himself.
He was down on himself despite our words of encouragement. He is quite the smart, overly energetic child who thinks nothing of getting on the piano at 11 pm, enthusiastically hitting the keys to his latest composition to then go shower and sing on top of his lungs.
Actually, we set some new house rules, he is not doing this anymore unless it is before 9 pm. He does have many traits of autism, as his pediatrician confirmed. He shifted his mindset. He is feeling better. He is growing.
We work hard at understanding and supporting our children. We are not perfect parents. The world seems so harsh for them. We protect, then doubt our actions: are we too soft? Are we too protective?
We are adapting to a crazy world, finding solutions to shelter them against life’s hurdles. But resilience kicks in, growth happens, they survive. We grow.
Thanks Arlene. I work a lot. When I see them and hear about their days, I gotta make it count.
Thank you TheFabD! I must say my Mama Bear Mode came out when I heard and I was very close to just march in that high school and find that kid! But my son wouldn’t tell me who he was (was a boy in his sophomore year). My boy is one of those autistic kids who is super smart, photographic and auditory memory, great artist (I am biased) but does not fit well socially, doesn’t read a room very well and needs a filter! He tries hard, but you said it: “mean kids”. I keep telling my kids: “after high school, those kids are gone, and you don’t have to worry about seeing them everyday, ignore them”.
Thank You Shirley. I am blessed to have them!
Thank you so much, Brad. I find that sharing helps me deal and at the same time, may help someone else 😊
Thank you for this spectacular level of transparency. It shows how things like Positive Mental Attitude and Growth Mindset are all around us. Perhaps signifying how important they truly are.
Carole! I just love your conclusion: “But resilience kicks in, growth happens, they survive. We grow.” Your illustrations about A GROWTH MINDSET are wonderful. How blessed your children are to have your awareness and guidance. Thanks for sharing with the Master Mind.
WOW, Carole – amazing transparency – see how I got parent in there, lol, which obviously you are a great one! I often wonder if these painful trials we go through as kids are necessary to build self-reliance or just unnecessary pain. I know the mean kids are being hurt, or else they would be so mean, and it breaks my heart, but sometimes I want to twist their arms and say, “Why do you hurt my child”? Mahalo for this terrific and insightful blog!
Your children sound great! I love that you are sharing this positive growth mindset with them.