I think we’re approaching week six now, and here I am just sharing my reflections from week three. Time seems to stand still when your family walks through loss.

After the shock of the news, you shift into this strange “full speed ahead” mode where everyone is making phone calls, notifying others, arranging the funeral, choosing flowers and gravestones, creating picture boards and slideshows, planning where family will gather afterward… the list feels endless.

Then, when all is said and done, the silence hits and the emotions rush in. What in the world do you do with those?

I had never lost someone who was part of my daily life before. Do I try to be “strong”? Or do I let myself truly feel? And how do I help my kids and husband navigate this new and tender territory?

MKE came at just the right time in my life. It’s helped me become aware of the me within. My eyes have been opened in a new way. I can’t quite explain it, but it gave me permission to pause.

And from that pause flowed this message to my family…

“I love you, my family XOXO ❤️ As Jesus wept over Jerusalem and grieved over his friend Lazarus, even though he knew he was going to raise him from the dead… We too will weep and grieve Pop’s passing.

I want to share something personal with you – growing up in a non-Christian home, I was taught that death was just part of life and moving quickly through loss was common place. But God is showing me something different now. I find myself with headaches, feeling nauseated, and crying when I’m alone – and that’s okay. It’s actually more than OK.

It is normal in God‘s design for our tears to release our sorrow. As our tears flow and our bodies, hearts, and heads process the reality of Pop not being with us on earth any longer, let’s lean on each other and show grace, as we all process differently.

The Bible tells us there is a time to weep and a time to mourn, Ecclesiastes 3:4, and God keeps track of all our tears and sorrows,Psalm 56:8 and in Psalm 62:8 we learned that we can pour out our hearts to God for he is our refuge 🙌

In my journey to be healthy, physically and mentally…I too I’m learning how to process this time and truly want to do it with God His way. The healthy way. It will have to be a conscious effort to feel and release and not allow suppressed grief to show up somewhere else unhealthily in our lives.

We’ve never gone through something like this as a family so we are learning together. Let’s feel our feelings, allow the tears to flow, the conversations to happen, the memories to be shared and not mute them, but release them to our Savior. Lord Jesus, help us look to You during this time to understand. 🙏

I love you Hon
I love you Sweets
I love you Bud

Xooxoxoxoxo”

Thank You Lord for “The Pause”