It has been a few weeks since I’ve blogged. Thanksgiving brought travels, visiting family and walking the places of the past. So as I write this blog in reflection of the past two weeks I affirm my thankfulness for what is – the life I’m living right now.

As we traveled we experienced flat tires, winding roads, breathtaking views, laughter, family, memories and more!

I’ve been working on the negativity diet. The attempt to eliminate negative thought is a tough one. It’s like someone telling you not to think of the blue and purple spotted elephant.

Suddenly I see my negativity. I feel the tension of holding onto fear, disappointment, judgement (that’s a big one) and resentment. I become conscious of how negativity settles in my shoulders and lands in the expression on my face, in my tone of voice.

I think I have talked less these past weeks, especially at certain times when negativity seemed to overtake me and I didn’t want to say it out loud.

This left me thinking about the difference between negativity and truth. The difference between self-pity and vulnerability. The difference between judgement and open communication. I desire truth, openness and vulnerability, but fear and judgement often stand in my way.

I understand that the difference between passing judgement and telling the truth, between feeling sorry for myself and being open and vulnerable is the intention of my mind. Approaching life in the positive is a choice.

This isn’t fake positivity that sugar coats or worse, shows up as passive aggressiveness.

This is a clear intention that the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be harmonious to the cosmic greater good that some call God and creation, and others call physics and the universe.

So here in week 11 I’m catching up on blogging. I look back on my struggles with negativity over these past weeks and recognize the power of sitting still with intention. The week 11 sit has been deeply moving for me.

Prior to this the sits often felt more like mental exercises that I struggled with when I was somewhat sleepy after a long day. But this week sitting and focusing on having already received whatever it is that is my greatest hope, my heart’s desire, has been an experience of deep prayer.

This has helped me rekindle what it really means to pray.

The ability to direct my mind with intention for a prescribed amount of time has allowed me to take areas in my life in which I harbor fear or negativity, and consciously hold them in the most positive light, all bound with love, and to see the most beautiful outcome.

For it is always what we love most, what we desire most earnestly, that we protect ourselves from the possibility of losing or failing to achieve. Negativity is the old blueprint’s protective wall.

I’m thankful that making a habit of mindfulness and intentional prayer can be powerful keys to rewriting that blueprint, knocking down the wall of negativity and thereby manifesting my heart’s desires.