I’m sitting and watching, observing my thoughts. They come, I substitute or I forgive myself, or the ones who need to be forgiven. I feel my chest rise and fall with each breath.
I remember a quote, “You don’t have a life, you are life.” “I am what I will to be” repeats like a mantra. I let go and let my mind wander again. Then a question pops into my mind. “Why don’t I know what my purpose is?”
I have easily attained what I wanted before. I knew what I wanted, focused on it, verbalized it ad nauseam to others and eventually found myself exactly where I’d been hoping to be.
But somewhere along the way I lost faith in myself. When I was successful, something went wrong. I invited the wrong people to share in that success. Did I do that on purpose?
I don’t know. I can’t trust myself to discern who is worthy. So, I am stuck. That is what brought me here I realize. I need to learn to trust myself again.
“The most precious commodity on the planet”
