MKE Week 3 – The Mind Killer

This week, I feel like all of the pieces that we have been given are beginning to coalesce in my mind. And it’s pretty cool how many sayings come to mind as I am doing my readings or going about my day.

Sayings like “let your light shine”, or “don’t worry, be happy”, or, one from one of my favorite books “fear is the mind killer.”

All too often in my life I have been a slave to fear, anxiety, depression or worry. In the past few months I have, for the most part, been able to squash anxiety and depression through consistently making a gratitude list and purposely deeply feeling gratitude.

This has blown me away that the anxiety and depression I’ve dealt with for so long could so easily be squashed.

This class is a continuation of what I had already been working on. I have been reprogramming my subconscious through gratitude and affirmations – now is the time to continue this process, not only to rid myself of these feelings, but to put the mysterious part of my brain to work for my future.

A future where I am mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and financially fit.

But reprogramming isn’t easy. This week I have faced strong internal resistance to doing what I need to do. Part of it is to be expected; I started a new job after having been out of work for months.

It takes time to regain the stamina to be mentally “on” all day. But part of it is the old self that retreats when it feels fear or being overwhelmed.

That quote about fear being the mind killer – this is absolutely true. Fear has wasted so much of my energy – my life force – in life.

It has kept me small. It has kept me from saying or doing things that would have enriched my life or others’ lives. It has made me silent when I should have sang out.

As I write this, I see that, just like when my daily gratitude list would slip, I would have to double down on gratitude – I need to double down on the daily tasks for this program.

Because my future is important. Freedom from fear is important – but more important is the self I can be without fear – whole, integrated, joyful, and happy.